Sharons Victory's Journal, 21 Sep 22

so I never ever thought I'd be here again - but I'm fat again! Heavier than ever! SO close to 300lbs! NEVER EVER thought I'd allow this to happen again!!!

I went to a ballet show for the first time last night and it was so sad that I could barely fit in the chair - I was SO uncomfortable!!! Chair was digging in to my sides but thank GOD that I had no one next to me - I would have been mortified.

Also - there's nothing like having this serious wake-up call to see how heavy you've gotten when you are watching some of the slimmest and fittest women alive lol...

One might ask - how on earth could you allow this to happen again? Let me tell you...the mind is a complex and powerful thing...I would say denial is what got me here...I would see a gain and say "I can lose that easily eventually when I'm ready" OR in the beginning I'd say "It's just water weight"...then, after awhile, there's just degrees of fat...once I'm fat I don't care anymore because fat is just fat...you know??? lol...so might as well enjoy yourself until you decide to do something about it again...but I'm hoping I've learned this time that degrees of fat may not matter to society but it DOES matter when you're attempting to lose it because, oh man, being 20lbs over weight would be much easier to remedy than 120!!!!!

Anyway...I am buckling down and losing this....it's daunting that it'll probably be a year and a half before I have abs again - but I'm nearly 40 now and my small frame is having a much harder time with this much weight this time around then it has previously! I wake up in bed with my back spasming and hurting....I'm only 5'5" with tiny hands and size 7 feet...I'm not a big boned person!

I would appreciate prayers...I need this weight off!!!!

My mini goal is 208 - that's when I can look good in a bikini again....

View Diet Calendar, 21 September 2022:
1340 kcal Fat: 58.00g | Prot: 78.00g | Carbs: 125.80g.   Breakfast: Coffee-Mate Sugar Free Vanilla Caramel Powder Coffee Creamer, Food Club Large Egg, Philadelphia 1/3 Less Fat Neufchatel Cream Cheese, Dave's Killer Bread Epic Everything Bagel. Lunch: Kirkland Signature Martha Stewart Beef Chili with Beans. Dinner: Signature Cafe Stompin' Steakhouse Chili with Beans. more...

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Comments 
🙏Praying for you Sharon.🙏 Please pray for me, too. Weight wise almost back to 10 years ago; gained and gaining all this year. 
21 Sep 22 by member: TomLong
Sharon!!! (((((SHARON!!!!)))) Gurl, I saw you pop in once recently and was thinking about you just yesterday. I am so excited to see you back!! First, let me tell you (because your complex mind may not) you are jaw-droppingly stunning at EVERY weight. Whatever "it" is, you have it, and I KNOW I am nowhere near alone in thinking that. But I get you 100% about it being so uncomfortable when one is heavier. Third, I just want to tell you how much you have inspired me, especially with being more disciplined about exercise, so ty for that. Many of us are back for a reboot. Seems I'm not the only one who got derailed by worldwide insanity. Wb! 
21 Sep 22 by member: jengetfit123
Oh my dear sweet friend - you are gorgeous. I got to that place of saying forget it, I can't do it. BUT, I still came back and started logging and moving more again. I AM doing it and happy about it, too. I cannot stay uncomfortable in my physical body forever. I figured out that I approached my food as "diet" and restricted myself...then once I got my weight down I would eat my favorites and could not portion control...and gain back. Maybe you do that too. So now, I a, ;using and allowing some things in that I enjoy but MODERATING the portions so I no longer feel deprived and binge later. It's a different mindset because the only way we will ever maintain our losses is to learn portion control now. 
21 Sep 22 by member: HCB
thank u for being brave!!! Even at a normal weight theater seats can be treacherous! weight gain is a hobby I would happily give up too🤣 
21 Sep 22 by member: 8Oasisbeginner
Wow for your height n weight your body’s fat distribution is super impressive! Most of it is deposited in the right places! 👌 
21 Sep 22 by member: Supergainz1
we are all going through craziness these days. you seem to be in a place where you're ready to make changes again. you know you can do it. we're all here.  
21 Sep 22 by member: Katsolo
I've learned the hard way that I personally need to chart. Its a very important step for me. It keeps me mindful. Don't be afraid to start your weight loss journey, everyone needs more than one chance. Keep going and like yourself, I am sure other people do. So glad you decided to start again. PS Trader Joes has chicken link sausages at 130 cal each. They help. 
21 Sep 22 by member: Zabaski
Prayers for you!! You are taking the first steps!!🙂 
21 Sep 22 by member: Maine coon
While I too am small framed, I look big with my extra pounds. Best of luck, it will be a long road, but never give up on YOU!! Your health matters to everyone who loves you. 💕🙏🏻💕 
21 Sep 22 by member: DallasGirl63
I just want to state, wow you look incredible despite how you feel. I am really proud of you for getting back on the healthy train. It really does bring out the queens in us all when our joints no longer hurt from the extra weight. I completely understand how you feel about the whole denial thing. I did it too. Went from 120 lbs to 250 lbs. I will never give up hope though. 150 here I come! You got this girl! 
21 Sep 22 by member: JawsPaws
you'll hit your goal don't stress it. 
21 Sep 22 by member: darkwitch8888
So happy to see you on here again, Sharon's Victory!! I echo Jengetfit123's comments. ♥️  
21 Sep 22 by member: Joleen2012
Praying for you Sharon. 
21 Sep 22 by member: deeboxer
Nice🌻. With the right intention comes energy. All the best.👏👏👏 
21 Sep 22 by member: ginome
You are beautiful. The weight loss will come with your new realization. Welcome! 
22 Sep 22 by member: sugarplum_
You are back and that's the giant first step! You have done it before so you know what to do...you will get lots of support, you got this!!💜💜👍👍 
22 Sep 22 by member: Diana 1234
Dear Lord, I thank You that Sharon is back and ready to get started again on reclaiming the body that she had achieved last year. Please help her to remember that she has done it before, and she can do it again. Please encourage her, uplift her, motivate her, give her the willpower to resist temptations. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen! 
22 Sep 22 by member: Debbie Cousins

     
 

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