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I decided yesterday to do something different. Having made a GIANT pot of Chicken Vegetable Soup (I'm talking 18 quarts of it!), I decided to JUST eat soup, my Dave's Killer Bread with Butter, and Honey Nut Cheerios with milk and banana for the next couple of days. I'm not limiting the quantity of any of those things. Hey, it's SOME plan -- much better than the NO PLAN I've had for the past 8 months!
I was telling my best friend that I've really noticed a difference with this last 5-10 pounds I've put on. It's like I crossed some invisible line that has triggered lots of uncomfortable things: my knees are once again hurting every day, I've started to have a bit of reflux, it's harder to get up from sitting on the toilet, my clothes are feeling tighter, I have trouble getting my foot up to where I can put my socks on (my shoes are slip-ons, so no problem with that).
She suggested that maybe I just lose that 5-10 pounds so I can go back to NOT having all those problems. What a brilliant idea! Maybe I'll just concentrate on getting below 250 again. If that resolves all the problems, maybe I'll just work on maintaining at that weight. Ah, maintaining ... something I have never been able to do at any weight.
So, we'll see how my soup/bread/cereal "diet" works for the next couple of days. I must admit that I was tempted this morning to stop at 7-Eleven on the way to do my price monitoring jobs. I sometimes like to "reward" myself with an eclair. (yes, I KNOW I should not reward myself with food).
Anyway, I've been doing very well on "reading" my two new audio books. I'm on chapter 18 in "Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children" by Allison Bottke, and I'm on chapter 16 in my Joyce Meyer book, "Authentically, Uniquely You." I've been listening for several hours a day. Both books talk about setting boundaries. I'm an "enabler" from WAY back.
My daughter will be 37 on her birthday, and she didn't become an adult until she was 32. My son just turned 34, and he JUST moved out last weekend, but there's no guarantee that he will stay moved out. We still give WAY to much financial support to him and his family. There needs to be a line drawn, and I need to change MY behavior in order to help him become a productive, contributing member of society.
I have lots of "reasons" (read "excuses") why we are so indulging of him: He got the short stick in the family genetic pool. He has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which he got from my husband. That is a rare connective tissue disease which causes frequent joint dislocations, and daily pain which is tremendously worsened whenever the weather changes. Because of this, he is unable to hold down a job, because many days he can't even hardly make it to the bathroom from the bed. He has severe psoriasis, which came from my dad. He was mercilessly bullied in school because of the psoriasis (got it when he was 13, and it was the worst case the pediatric dermatologist had ever seen). He was always "the good child," and never gave us a moment of trouble until he was misdiagnosed as being bi-polar, when really he was just severely depressed, and the wrong prescription caused him to become manic and act out. He has always been very good at saving money, but now there is just NO money to BE saved.
In spite of all these reasons why we should help him out, I know that we are preventing him from being all that he COULD become if he "had to." We still pay for his cell phone, his car insurance, his life insurance, food for the three of them (wife & 15-year-old step-son) until last week when they finally got SNAP benefits, renter's insurance to cover their possessions downstairs, gas - basically everything, because his wife has EDS, too, and POTS (or is it POTTS?), and several other problems. Neither of them is ABLE to work, but neither of them can get disability.
Any other serial enablers out there? The Bottke book says I need to find and give support to other parents who have the same problem, or who have overcome in that area. I checked online and it looks like there is a counselor in the next city over who conducts groups that might deal with boundaries. I sent an email asking if there was one in session now, or starting soon, but I didn't hear back, so I'll call tomorrow.
My husband is very sick today. So much so that I just tested him for covid. He has six of the 11 most common symptoms: nausea/vomiting, joint/body aches (severe), headache, fatigue, diarrhea and chills. He's a Pastor and didn't go to church this morning, which is VERY unusual for him. Thankfully, we have a man in our church who was able to take over for him this morning.
OK, one more hour until bedtime (yes, I go to bed at 5pm). One more slice of my DKB toast & butter, and I'll be done for the evening. Day 1: Success! Hooray for me!
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