Sharons Victory's Journal, 26 Feb 18

Here is my unsolicited advise - ;) Hang in there you never know who is around the corner, you could meet someone wonderful tomorrow. Be optimistic, get out with family or friends try to just concentrate on having fun with your friends and family. There are many men that do not look for the thinnest women etc. I believe that men are attracted to the women that are self confident with who they are and are happy, and laughing and having fun. Hope this helps and keep the faith! It will happen! 

Like Little Red Fox, I hope this may help you a little. I was divorced after 22 years. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Took 4 years to build myself back up again. I am not in your shoes but can feel your pain. When I was able to quit feeling numb, I did what I called, 'filling up my own gas tank'. Believe in yourself and have confidence in your abilities. Look how far you have come just with your weight loss adventure. :) Try to stay focused on all of the good things that you have to look forward to. Make a bucket list for yourself of things you would like to do. No matter how awful you feel, reach out...pick up that phone and call someone that has a positive outlook on life and ask them to do something with you. Even if it is just watching a movie or going on a walk. And...my mom used to tell me to look in the mirror everyday and tell myself how beautiful I was. Corny...I know... She passed away at 39 yrs old from cancer. It is said that a child needs 25 hugs a day. You should have seen me chasing my kids around when they were teens. LOL! I still do it and they are now 32, 36 and 39. Hugs... :) 

Sharon, Take my advice stop feeling sorry for yourself, that's the easy road that leads to nowhere.l think and l hope I'm wrong but your thinking about hitting the bottle again..well it's been 90 days so I'll just have a good drunk..been there done that's a belief that will get you started again and no good ever came from it.There was this man around here about your age who quit for a yr.and started up again and he new how bad it was going to be for himself and others so he decided he was a failure and committed suicide by gun according to the newspaper with the police report from a suicide note.l wasted 20yrs of my life crying in my whiskey but l had the courage to stay sober now for some 30yrs and going.l don't want you to fall into that rut.life won't pass you bye, your doing everything thing right for yourself know your cleaning you up mentally and physically your time will come when you really are ready for it.Talk to God feel his presence and the Saints will be with You.lts True all you have to do is believe in a higher power.l know this is long winded and off coarse some but l like you and so does 100 other people on this site.but its just Murph talking to you know.l couldn't find true love and companionship until l fixed me! and one day the Saints led me to a sandwich shop of all places to match me up with Bunny some 25yrs ago and I've never looked back.You see you can't change your past but you can create a future.but the first step is you have to fix you and that entails belief in how special you are, having a positive additude, through this melancholy thinking out the door, stay sober and continue your woe and w/o and one day l guarantee the Saints will direct you to the love of your life. p.s. You deserve only the best. 

hang in there Sharon! 

I understand how you feel. My brother is single and 42 and desperately wants children but just hasn't met anyone. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. Just remember God's time is not the same as ours. Wait on Him to find your perfect mate, if you rush it, you'll never find true happiness. You are beautiful no matter your weight and never settle for less than you deserve.  

Why you are looking for Mr. Perfect, you might be missing out on some GREAT not so perfect people who try harder. 

make sure you talk to someone...deppression is insidious and cannot be ignored 

Girl...take a dance class. 

Yeah, depression is no fun. I have no advice, if you figure it out please let me know. I hope your day rapidly improves. 

I've recently joined 2 hiking groups. There are lots of groups to get involved with. I've been hiking with people I don't know at the start of the hike, but end up with email addresses and promises to arrange future hikes. There are meetup groups for just walking, or bike riding, and all kinds of interests (photography, Shih Tzu dog owners, etc). Maybe you can find people to meet with socially once in awhile. I invited my next door neighbor over with a couple ladies from the dog park for appetizers and drinks (sodas, ice tea, water, etc). It's a way to meet people who know people and you never know when you'll meet a guy with similar interests as you. 

I can’t, he can, let him!! It’s a spiritual solution. Keep talking about it. Picking up is never the answer, cause tomorrow u wake up and not only is your original problem still there but now there’s a new problem!! God bless... this too shall pass 

Sharon just some input, no advice per say. Have you ever thought about getting a pet. My Maine Coone Cat Buddy is my pride and joy. He gives unconditional love. He just has a unique sparkle in his,eyes and such personality and loyalty. Maine Coone cats are attention hounds but they give as much love back. As far as the diet goes, have you tried simple calorie counting or a,weight watchers format say from the late 8o's, traditional calorie food pyramid. I admit I have tried and,tweak many systems and my new program seems,to be working. Fatsecret has taught me some news ideas on a old format plus I am using MyNetDiary with fatsecret. By the way I just read Fritzy 22 comments, great ideas!!!!! ☺☺☺☺😼 

I too was divorced after 22 years. I have lots of women friends, but not really dating anyone since 2013 (wow, has it been that long). I go to contradancing which is like old fashioned square dancing. You don't need a partner and there are dances all over the country - they are very welcoming to people of all ages and shapes! I also volunteer at Habitat for Humanity - they are friendly and there is always a way to be useful. I was thinking about getting a match membership or whatever us 60-year-olds do to get dates, but most of all I get out dancing or to the gym 3 or 4 nights a week. Plus I do have pets. I can't lose all the weight i have gained by tomorrow, but I can be friendly at the activities that I really enjoy even though there is no one for me to date. 

awww I'm sorry your feeling depressed. so am I. I know what you mean. I feel so alone and I will be 40 in July. I also want this weight gone. when your depressed it makes it harder. if you ever need to talk I'm here for you!!  

Keep it up Ms ! Mind over matter. I too know your struggles but don’t quit. Don’t over think the scales they will depress you focus on how u feel and look. Your closer than u think . Don’t worry Mr Right is just around the corner. Victory is never won without a price. Keep it up !! You can and will accomplish your goals... 

It's difficult when you first meet someone as you've both been brought up by different parents and it takes a while to gel together and find common ground in a lot of things. Some people are worth taking the time to learn to live with and some not. Make sure you don't dismiss the ones with potential too early. 

You know the old saying " and to every action there is always an equal or opposite reaction"? Well I think that's what's happening to you. You're sending out signals of being unhappy and its making people shy away. To be tolerated....you must be tolerant. The best place to start being tolerant is with yourself. You have to be the most positive person you know. Life hands out some not so cool things sometimes but you have a choice.....you can be happy.......or you can let it beat you up. I say with all life's crap....there has to be a pony in here somewhere. Keep digging!!!! lol You're a beautiful girl. Be the person you want to find and it will come to you.  

I was married to an alcoholic for 24 years. He sobered up a hundred times, but refused help and listened to the lies. Alcohol lies. Don't listen to it. If you believe in God, then believe God. He says that you are awesomely and wonderfully made. He also says that we should love one another, and to be forgiving of one another. (including yourself) Love is stronger than anything. The only perfect person that ever lived walked the earth two thousand years ago, and they killed him for it! Have standards, but remember to forgive, too. 

Do you exercise? I'm lonely too. I live all by myself and not good at making friends because I can't tolerate chit chat or petty stuff. Anyway, what gets me thru is working out. Everytime I have a good run or a good swim, or go lift some weights, I feel so amazing and it gets me thru and makes me happy for awhile. Even just going for a walk will help. Get some podcast or music and get active and I promise it will help. Don't think of it as drudgery, think of it for mental health and not losing weight.  

It begins with loving yourself completely honey...and working on yourself as you are now takes time and devotion... I had loss my son in a car accident 10 years ago and although I didn't feel like I had a problem... I did drank daily..not so much the hard stuff anymore but wine or beer I'm as of today 83 days in to not having any type of alcohol..this was a decision I have made on my own...I needed complete control of me if I was going to do everything I wanted with my new health journey... including my weight management. You get what you settle for...don't settle for anything less ...it begins with the love of yourself first sweetie...I will pray that you begin to feel better each day xoxoxo;)