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I’m getting concerned. Lately, I just haven’t been “myself.” I’ve been making bad choices and not really caring too much about it.
1. I’ve gone over on my RDI several days, and haven’t even tried to make it up the next day.
2. Yesterday, I went to an ice cream shop and tried to order a single scoop waffle cone (thankfully, they only had No-Sugar-Added in the flavor I wanted), but I still got that, knowing that it would put me over for the day and that just the cone was more sugar than I should be having.
3. Today, I ate a King’s Hawaiian roll AND a whole bag of buttered popcorn, to which I ADDED another 2 Tbsp. of melted butter. I knew it would put me over. I knew I should check the nutrition info before I ate it; but, I didn’t even WANT to know – I just wanted to eat the blankety-blank popcorn!
4. I’ve been eating NUMEROUS snacks during the day.
5. I haven’t wanted or been drinking all of my water.
6. For the first time in forever, today I had TWO cans of Diet Coke!
I don’t know WHY I’m doing all this. “The thing want, I DO not, and the thing I want NOT, that I do!” I know what’s right. I know what’s wrong. And, I’m choosing the wrong. In the past, this type of behavior has led to going “hog wild and pig crazy” for extended periods of time (months!) I know I don’t want THAT to happen, and I don’t want to get to where I just give up or become apathetic to my whole WOE goals.
I think this is all still fallout from Easter Sunday. Showing a GAIN after 9 straight weeks of losing was quite a shock! I’ve only lost back 1-1/2 of the 2-1/2 pounds I gained. Each morning, I expect the scale go down, and it hasn’t. I’m exercising MORE – I even started WALKING, which I hadn’t done since January! I even did YOGA for the first time in my life for 30 whole minutes.
I know I deserve what I’m getting. I’m reaping what I’m sowing as far as what I’ve been eating. I know that. I just need to get myself together and get back on the straight and narrow! TODAY is a new day – I’m not going to wait until tomorrow to change it. I WANT to have another Atkins Endulge Chocolate Coconut Bar (tastes exactly like a Peter Paul Mounds – maybe even better); but, I’m not going to have it. I’ve already had too many things that I shouldn’t have. It’s a start.
Tomorrow is another chance to get it right. I CAN’T go back to where I WAS – I’ve given ALL of my fat clothes to the Salvation Army!
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2033 kcal
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Fat: 125.78g | Prot: 41.65g | Carbs: 204.45g.
Breakfast: Honeydew Melons, Albertsons Heavy Whipping Cream, Twinings Earl Grey Tea, Fruit Salad. Lunch: Homemade Buttermilk Ranch Dressing, Kroger Finely Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Great Value Broccoli Florets, Baked Potato (Peel Eaten). Dinner: Butter, King's Hawaiian Hawaiian Sweet Rolls, Jimmy Dean Premium Pork Sausage, Adams Diced Onion, Rao's Homemade Vodka Sauce, Kroger Canned Pieces & Stems Mushrooms, Cooked Spaghetti Squash. Snacks/Other: Butter, Act II Butter Microwave Popcorn, Wal-Mart Fresh Pineapple, Cantaloupe Melons, Midnight Beauty Black Seedless Grapes, Honeydew Melons, Atkins Endulge Chocolate Coconut Bar (MINUS Sugar Alcohol). more...
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2788 kcal
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Exercise:
Yard Work (gardening) - 15 minutes, Sitting - 10 minutes, Exercise machine (slow) - 20 minutes, Massage - 35 minutes, Driving - 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 6 hours and 50 minutes, Studying - 6 hours and 5 minutes, Cleaning - 10 minutes, Cooking - 40 minutes, Showering - 15 minutes. more...
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 Comments
Great post! For me it is all about 'motivation' and motivation is always based on some 'fear'. On a spiritual level we know that *all* fear can be transcended through our surrender to our higher power, but we have to make a --decision-- if and when to do this (this is our 'free will'). So, when I find myself 'binging' I recognize there is a 'fear' that I am currently allowing to remain unaddressed, and to provide this 'motivation' to 'start' the binge or to 'not stop' the binge. But, (and I guess this is my point) I am 'blessed' to have the 'choice' to address *any* fear on a 'spiritual level' (through acceptance and surrender). *No Fear* --ever-- has to control me. This is the power of Spirituality that I am grateful for. Good luck!
27 Apr 19 by member: adefwebserver
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@adefwebserver, what a great springboard for prayer, meditation, and contemplation: "[W]hen I find myself 'binging' I recognize there is a 'fear' that I am currently allowing to remain unaddressed...." I'm posting that to my journal!
27 Apr 19 by member: Miraculum
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I have done they same thing the past month and knowingly doing it then getting angry at myself after weighing myself and promising not to do it the next day but do finally after a twenty hour fast yesterday I ate whatever I wanted cause my family was over for a going away bbq my mom is moving out of state but I watched portions and surprisingly I finally had a drop this morning after a month of nothing so that is enough motivation for me to start over thank god at least you're acknowledging it so you know what to do start with a fast its a great way to start over and clear your body of all the junk good luck
27 Apr 19 by member: sallyf78
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Some days the temptation just seems to much. I have done that full well know it was not going to help.some how I could not stop.
Then the numbers on the scale, so disappointing.
27 Apr 19 by member: madfoxmade
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you are not any different than most of us...we all backslide, important you noticed and are trying to correct.....you can do this, be kind to yourself, take care!
27 Apr 19 by member: Sweet_Marie
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Coke makes a coke with stevia
27 Apr 19 by member: steven67
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@Chris - your advice cracks me up! You're so witty. Must be the carbs, specifically your cereal to milk ratio. 😜
27 Apr 19 by member: Becc@
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For whatever reasons, and I'm sure many people can give you many reasons for your shift in your mindset and eating...one thing for sure is that we can not change yesterday, nor know exactly what is going to happen tomorrow. What we can do is concentrate and live in the present moment. With that said, give yourself some focus tools that you can use when you are having the "I KNOW I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO HAVE THIS...BUT! moments. Do your mirror work and celebrate YOU in the morning when you get up and before you go to bed at night. Many of our BIG moments are hidden in our little accomplishments (ex. drinking 30 oz. of water when you only had 12 oz. the day before). Debbie, you take care of so many of US at Fat-secret and provide US a healthy dose of INSPIRATION. Maybe, you just need to take a moment and do some SELF-CARE! It's OK to be selfish when you need to TAKE CARE OF YOU! Be Well my sister, you'll be back in rhythm soon. Holding you in the Light of Love and Health.
27 Apr 19 by member: mysize10
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OK Debbie, We need you back on the rails lol. We all have done that Debbie, and I blame Easter for my fall as well! Have a great week!!! You are a Rockstar!
27 Apr 19 by member: Dennymau
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@Miraculum - In my meditations, I have found the exploration on 'fear' to be virtually endless :)
27 Apr 19 by member: adefwebserver
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How your sleep. I'm exactly like what you described when I don't get enough sleep and get stressed. Hopefully your brain will click back into healthy mode.
27 Apr 19 by member: jenjabba
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Debbie Cousins's Weight History
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